"So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Cor 5:16,17)
All scripture is from the New International Version, unless otherwise stated.
With the coming of a new year, most people make a promise to better themselves (resolutions). One study showed after the first week 25% of the people have failed at their resolution. After one month 36% of the people fail. After 6 months more than 50% of the people have failed at their resolution (http://www.proactive-coach.com/resolutions/keeping.htm). Why is that? Is it that they set unreasonable goals ( I will lose 2350 lbs), have unrealistic expectations (I will save a gabazillion dollars), or have a certain weakness ( I will limit my Pepsi consumption to only 20 cans a day).
Not to brag, but I would throw off all those studies. When I have made a resolution, I have managed to keep it, not just for that year, but for a long time after. I think the last resolution I made was: I will not buy a hunk of cheese and sit down and eat it. As I am trying not to break my arm patting myself on the back, I have not bought a hunk a cheese, or any type of cheese, and sat down unwrapped it and ate it. Now, those who don’t know me, I can’t eat cheese, therefore, I have kept that resolution. I set resolutions I know I don’t do so I don’t fail.
But, why do people tend to fail. For me, the answer is simple, they do it without Jesus. We try to make ourselves better without the one who can make us better- Jesus Christ. When we accept Jesus as our savior we become a new creation. The old person is dead, the new is alive. To give you an example, I will give a brief testimony of my life. For the first time, I will become vulnerable to all my readers (all 8 of you).
I was born September 17, 1971 to my parents Robert (Jack) and Trudy Vandenburg. (She’ll be happy I didn’t use her full name), in a small unknown town in Kansas. (Abilene, home of President Dwight Eisenhower and the Greyhound Hall of Fame). My parents later divorced and my pa moved to Missouri, where I would visit him and my stepmother Mary and brother David during the summers in my early childhood. I grew up with a church of Christ upbringing and Baptist upbringing in the summers.
Some studies show that if you watch a child when they are between the ages of 3 and 5, you will get a good idea on what they want to be when they grow up. When we would get home from church on Sundays, I would round up about 15-20 stuffed animals and give them a sermon. Most of the time it was the same sermon over and over, about God’s love to Daniel (imagine that) when he was in the lions den. I have always been interested in God’s word, and anytime I was at a book sale, I would inevitably find a Bible to purchase. I grew up knowing about Jesus, but not knowing Jesus.
In high school many of my friends and acquaintances assumed I was a Christian. I was always going to various church youth group activities and constantly talking to people about Jesus. I had close friends go into the ministry right out of high school. These same friends felt I should have entered into a seminary for ministerial training. This happened every year of my high school career, "Daniel, you should go to (insert name of Christian school here) and become a preacher" Even at graduation, I was given a Michael W Smith cassette. (Alisa, I still have that cassette, thanks) But I never felt the call, I knew the right words, I didn’t know the right attitude.
On the night of October 31st 1995, I went to bed. An hour and fifteen minutes after midnight I had "The Dream". I was surrounded by an army of demons and fighting them off with a staff. I would push a couple back and more would take their place. After a couple of minutes of this endless fight, a demon three times the size of the others pushed its way through the others. It knocked the staff out of my hands and thrust its hand into my chest. It grabbed my heart and started to squeeze it. While doing this, I heard a booming voice from above declare, "Change your ways or you will be dead in a year."
I immediately woke up, sweat soaked my sheets, I was breathing heavy, and my heart was racing. As I sat up, a white misty figure appeared at the corner of my bed and said, "Relax my son, I am with you now." Suddenly a wave of peace enveloped me, and I lay back down and fell asleep.
When I went to work (I worked at Hardee’s at this time), the woman I was dating at that time approached me and asked me if anything was wrong. I casually asked her what she meant, and she answered, "Daniel, you’re white as a sheet, there appears something is different." She wasn’t the only one that asked, most of the employees asked me if something was wrong, because I wasn’t my usual self. Since I was the shift supervisor that day, I sat in the office, most of the afternoon and early evening. Thankfully, the crew realized something was wrong and worked their tails off while I was struggling.
At 8 o’clock that night, I called Ken Mostue, then pastor of the Abilene Wesleyan Church, and I asked him if he was busy the next day, I had it off and wanted to talk to him. He said he didn’t have anything going on the next day and asked what it was about. I said, "I had a rough night last night and I wanted to talk to you about it, and I want to talk about Jesus and dedicating my life to Him." Ken answered, "I’ll be up right now, this is too important to wait." So I sat out in the lobby of Hardee’s from 8 until 10:30 talking about Jesus and committing my life to Him.
That night, I went to bed and had "The Dream Pt 2". Instead of fighting off demons, I was standing at a pulpit in a church. I was giving a sermon to a multitude of people. Again I heard a voice, the same as the night before, "Job well done, now I want you to lead my family." I had a restful sleep, but was at a loss of what to do. I was later baptized, and a woman in the church approached me and told me when I went under, she prayed to God to show her what He wanted for me, and she had a vision of me preaching in a church. I never told her or anyone about the other dream; that became public affirmation #1.
I became involved with various ministries throughout the church and community: Board member and later Vice President of Youth for Christ, youth leader of the Wesleyan church, voting Delegate to the General Conference, small group study leader, and various other things. I became proud and haughty. And then I had "The Fall"
In 1999, I opened my big fat mouth and inserted my foot, leading to a collapse of my spirituality. An elder in the church, was using the story of Cassie Bernall as a teaching tool. He said he wasn’t sure if he was faced with the decision she had if he would answer the same way. I stuck out my scrawny spiritual chest and said, "I would never deny Christ, I would answer yes." That was the start of the decline. After that day, my words may not have denied Christ, but my actions did. I did everything imaginable that went against Jesus’ teachings. The end result was my turning my back on God’s call and the receiving of a daughter. I felt I was no good as a minister, and useless to God. I had entered into the belly of the whale.
In 2002, I was working for the local newspaper. I was driving in the country listening to the radio station (KJRL at that time, now KJIL), I was having a rough day, everything on the radio kept making me feel worse about my situation. I kept thinking about the things I threw away, how God didn’t want me anymore, how everything was crumbling around me. Then a song on the radio came on and turned everything around for me. Richard Hayes announced the Mark Schultz song "Back In His Arms Again". After hearing it, I pulled over to the side of the road and wept. I poured out my transgressions to God and received His forgiveness. God used that song to bring me back to Him. I may have turned my back on Him, but He never turned His back on me. That night, I was talking to the woman I was involved with at that time about it, and she hunted down the CD and bought it for me, and then bought one for herself.
Throughout my journey, I have sinned against many people. I pray that they will find it in their hearts to forgive me, just as I have forgiven those that have sinned against me. I have forgiven myself for my transgressions, and I know God has forgiven me. I am now currently in classes for training as a pastor. God has blessed me greatly. If I boast now, let it be in Christ and not about me. It’s not about me anymore, it’s about Him.
I write all of this, so 1 you who read will know where I come from, 2 regardless of your paths in life, God wants to be in it and wants you to follow Him. 3 There is no such thing as sinning too much, God has a plan for you, stop doing things by yourself and turn to Him for help. And 4 God is just to forgive your sins when you truly repent and turn to Him.
I am a new creation. The old Daniel is dead. I am not the same as I was in 1971, 1987, 1995, 1999, 2002, 2006. I am constantly growing and learning. The Daniel of 1995 no longer exists. The Daniel of 2002 no longer exists. I am the Daniel of 2007.
If you have not yet made the decision to have Jesus as your savior, I urge you to make that your new years resolution. Resolve to make Jesus your personal savior, the sooner the better. Scripture is clear: We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23) and The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Rom 6:23). The first couple of steps are simple believe and confess. "But what does it say? ‘The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart’, that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord', and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. As the Scripture says, ‘Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame.’" (Rom 10:8-11) Once you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, it’s time to start living like it. Don’t rely on yourself to conquer your addictions and problems, ask God to help you with them. Don’t be afraid to contact a local pastor, a local believer, or even me, I am here to help.
Jesus is Lord
Have a blessed and wonderful year
Daniel G Vandenburg
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35 comments:
NOW you are free! There are those that believe pride is a sin. If this is true I am a sinner without forgiveness because I am proud that I am your Dad in this world, proud that I am your brother in God's Kingdom, and I am very proud of you, my son. Dad
Thank you very much, and all praise goes to God. It is through Him that I am who I am.
Thank you for being honest. I know God is going to bless you in the future. I am also proud to have known you, but more importantly, I know you make God proud by following Him. You will always be in my prayers. --M
Waahh! Waahh! Look at me, I'm a whiny Christian. I've sinned please forgive me. Why can't you "Christians" ever be strong? You're always crying about something. Gov Ventura was right when he said "Religion is only for the weak minded." Why do you always ask the priest for forgiveness on Sunday and then act like the devil during the week? Don't you think God gets tired of your behavior? And you make other people proud of what you do. I can see why you have failed relatiionships, you're a narrow weakminded hypocrite who wants everyone to feel sorry for you. Matthew Himmaugh from Minnesota
I beg to differ with you Matthew. It takes a very "strong" person to admit he was wrong and turn the other way. That's why the one thief on the cross went to heaven and the other didn't. I do not believe Daniel was "whining", but that he was sharing in order to help others who might feel God cannot use them because of their past. Asking forgiveness is not permission to go and do the same thing. It's turning from the sin and going the other direction. It is evident that you do not understand what being a christian is about. I pray that you will seek the Lord before it is too late. --G.G.
Ok..I'm gonig to be bold and ask this question. I am wondering if you could share with me what you would do. I have been involved with some sexual sins in the past. Since coming to the Lord, I have tried to overcome this temptation. However, when I am around my former partners, I find myself giving into it again. I just cannot seem to be able to give this up. I know it's wrong. Do I need to stay away from those past gals and break ties with them completely? I would really hate to lose all contact with them. When I'm with them, the memories all come sweeping back and I can't help myself. Should I just marry the gal, even though she's not a christian? Would that be the right thing to do? Thanks for any help you might have. S.T.
Thank you for the questions. I will do my best to answer your questions. First, I'm a little confused, you talk about multiple women in encounters, and a single woman in marriage. If you are philandering around, I don't think you should marry anyone and make a committment to 1. Jesus and 2. One person. If you have made the committment to Christ (You did say since coming to the Lord) then approach all relationships with a Christlike attitude. You are a new creation and the old you is dead. You are no longer what you were in the past. Anytime you have an urge, pray for the strength to overcome it, and it is only through the name of Jesus and with Jesus that you will overcome. Until your desires are no longer of a physical nature, I would strongly suggest to avoid contact with these women. I'm assuming (it might be too much, and I could be mistaken) that this single woman is pregnant, and the question would be, is it the right reason to marry someone because she is pregnant? Marriage is not to be entered into lightly. It is a promise before God to be with this person for a lifetime. But, then, a physical relationship isn't to be entered into lightly either. God gave us the right to procreate through marriage. I abused that right, and I am paying for it. If you are a Christian, it is unwise to marry a non believer. I am going to pass on some scriptural references to read upon and to study. I also urge you to contact a pastor who can help you with your struggles. I will pray for you also. And you should find someone to be an accountability partner. If you so chose, you can drop a comment with your e-mail address and I will not post it, but I will also help you with your accountability. Prov 5:1-8, Eccl 4:7-12, I Cor 6:12-20, 2 Cor 6:14, Philp 2:5, James 1:22-25 I hope these help and answer your questions. God bless you and yours Daniel Vandenburg (These are also questions and struggles that I have had throughout various stages of my walk You are not alone)
I appreciate your honesty although I don't agree with some of your thoughts. Probably wouldn't do any good to post my objections, I'm sure they wouldn't be posted. May God continue to bless you. --John (Ok)
Guys, I, too, have made similar mistakes in the past. Keep warning people and sharing. Maybe it will help stop someone who's thinking of going down the wrong path. Sure, God forgives us, but we still have to pay the consequences the rest of our lives for our past actions. I just paid a big one by losing someone I loved very much over it. They could forgive me, but couldn't forget the past and the consequences that resulted from it. I do not blame them or hold it against them, though. Maybe in time, things will still work out. You are in my prayers. If I could say one thing, stand strong in Christ. Be like Joseph. If the temptation overcomes you--pray, then RUN! It's not easy, but alot better than the consequences of giving into sin. Your brother in Christ, Paul J.
I see how it is. You will print the things from other males who agree with you, but not from the females who disagree with you. What's wrong? Can't admit you might be wrong sometimes, or afraid to see what others might think of our opinions? I think the fair thing to do would be print our opinions as well and let your readers decide for themselves instead of only printing the things YOU want them to read. Sorry, but sometimes the truth hurts. --Sue
Sue, I'm not sure where you are coming from. 98% of the responses that I don't post, is there is no name. Therefore, I don't know if they are male or female. The other 2% use foul language. Whether I agree with the assessment or not, I will post the response if there is a name, and if there is no foul language. In this blog, I have 2 responses from women, not including yours. I looked in the archives and I don't have any from a named woman. In previous blogs, especially the Clone Wars one, there are a lot of responses from women, and most disagree with me. And if you read the comments from the people in this blog, Matthew really disagreed with me, and John from OK said he disagreed with some things and I'm waiting to here back from him. I'm not perfect and I do enjoy hearing from other people and their perspectives. If you disagree, tell me why you disagree. Most people will be surprised. I'm not some egotistical jerkazoid that get's my jollies from making myself appear superior to others. If you don't like a stance I took on the Bible, tell me why. I have a wonderful running e-mail diaglogue with an atheist woman who disagrees with a lot of things, but she doesn't call me names, and we have remained civil to each other. When I said I reserve the righ to publish whatever comments I want is simply this: If you want to argue simply to test my faith, or just to argue, you came to wrong person. If you want to have a serious discussion about something, and disagree, fine, and at least see if we can't at least figure out where the other person is coming from. Thanks and God Bless all of you Daniel G Vandenburg
I sent you a post earlier and I DID sign my name. It was about telling S.T. not to marry the woman if she was possibly pregnant. I feel if you made the decision to sleep with them & got them pregnant, you should have enough respect for them to marry them and give the child their name and have a part in raising them. Unwed mothers (like me) get alot of flack from people who judge them and it takes 2 to have a child. If you don't want to marry them, than use some type of protection. Once you have that child, it is also a man's responsibility to help raise them and make decisions in that child's upbringing. That does not mean just paying her off each month and expecting her to do it all. I also reminded you of Hosea in the Bible whom God told to marry a prostitute. So, if the person is not a christian, but they have your child, don't you think the Lord would want you to go ahead and try to build a family with them? And, for your information, I did not call you any names, so don't use that as an excuse for not printing my reply. If you don't want to answer fine, but don't try to make me look like a fool either. Hopefully, we can have a civil discussion about this. Thank you. Sue
Sue, I apologize for any misunderstanding that has occurred. I looked through me e-mail and through my blog registry and someway, somehow, I didn't receive your first comment. So for that I apologize, I am looking into the situation. Now onto the rest of the discussion, you bring up some valid points. First let's look at Hosea, yes he was commanded to marry a prostitute. God even said it was to show His relationship with Israel. Everything that went wrong in Hoseas relationship was a metaphor for everything that was going on the the relationship between the Israelites and God. Look at all the problems Hosea had, yet he still loved Gomer. It is also unclear if Gomer was an Israelite, it does list her father, so there is a possibility that she was an Israelite, therefore, it's not a mixed marriage. The Isrealites were commanded not to marry outsided of their tribes. They were not to marry the Cannaanites, Hitites, etc. etc. (Ezra 9:1-15, Neh 10:30) So it is possible that Gomer was an Israelite. But part of the question was centered around marrying a nonbeliever. Scripture is clear on that, you don't do it. (1 Cor 7 addresses the matters of marriage, 2 Cor 6:14-18 addresses believer/unbeliever relationships) Part of my advice is this, if you're a believer don't even date a nonbeliever. It's ok to be friends with a nonbeliever, but not to be personally involved. If you confess to being a believer, you should't be wrapped up in sin. I know it happens, but that's not an excuse. As far as not marrying her, why compound one mistake into another mistake? If (and that's a big if) it's a one night stand, and you get get married to find out you're really not compatible, and get divorced. Now the sin has been compounded. I feel bad for your situation, and I know that's not much comfort coming from me. But realize, you are in my prayers. I'm sorry that you, all single parents, take a lot of flak from people. We need to realize we all have sinned. In 1 Cor 6:9-12 Paul gives a list of sins to the Corinthians, and rebukes them by telling them they were just like them. That's part of the beauty of grace. As Christians we need to show a lot more grace and a lot less condemnation. God Bless you
Let me see if I have this right. A "christian" can have a live-in relationship with someone, get them pregnant than say they can't marry the woman and help with the child because she's "not" a christian? Is it ok then for 2 who are not christians to marry for the child's sake? Seems a bit hypocritical to me. I think what Sue might have been trying to get across is that women "need" a man to help with raising the children & surely the child needs a father image in their lives. I think there is somewhere in the Bible that says what God thinks of those who do not provide for their family (found it, I Timothy 5:8). I, too, know what it's like to raise a child alone and I can sympathize with her. If we're good enough for you guys to live with, we should be good enough for you to make a committment to. Sue, I think there's alot of us women who feel the same way you do.
I know I'll probably get a lecture on how it's not entirely you guys fault and we should learn to say no, too. Well, that's half-true because it does take two. Maybe that's why there are so many of us who never get married. After a while, a few bad apples ruin it for the rest. The "good" guys don't want all the baggage of raising others kids and the "bad" ones just want to use us and throw us away. Sue, if you'd like to talk, I can give you my e-mail. Thanks for listening to me rant. Diane.
I agree with these verses you quoted. You said, "We need to realize we all have sinned. In 1 Cor 6:9-12 Paul gives a list of sins to the Corinthians, and rebukes them by telling them they were just like them." It says in those verses that, that is what you "used to be"(were). But..."you were washed, you were sanctified and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus." We did used to be like that, but as christians, we are not supposed to keep doing it after we accept the Lord. We are supposed to be "different" and how can we be different if we are doing the same thing they are doing? We should show more grace to those who have sinned, but that doesn't mean we have an excuse to keep on doing it and say it's ok, because God will forgive us. It also doesn't mean we should condone what they are doing just because we used to do it. Jesus showed mercy, but he also stood up for what was wrong & right. Have a "God" week. John
Diane, thanks for your response. I want to clarify something. A "Christian" shouldn't be in a live-in relationship. In 1 Cor 5:9-13 even gives a response to what you must do to someone who is in a sexually immoral life. As a Christian you are not to even associate with them, primarily so they will find the error of their ways, and so they don't cause others to stumble (If they're doing it, why can't I). I know in todays society we have downplayed the significance of marriage and if you're going to get married to the person it's ok to live with them. I fell into that trap. But, that's not God's design for us. We need to apply what God wants us to do, not what we want us to do. As for 2 non believers to marry for the child's sake, I can't answer that question, but again, I think it would be a bad idea, (see earlier response) The reason I can't answer it, is the standards used by non believers is different that the standards used by believers. Believers use the Bible as an authoritative teaching and non believers use themselves and others around them. I'm not trying to shirk the question or be hipocrytical, I just don't think it's a good idea. As for the "good" guys not wanting the baggage and the "bad" guys just using you and tossing you out, I understand where you're coming from. I have witnessed it with some friends of mine, and it saddens me. I wouldn't entirely give up and say "It's not worth it" when it could very well be the next person you date. I don't know. But, I will pray for you as I do all those who comment, negative or positive. Thanks and God bless you Daniel G Vandenburg
John, thank you for your response. You're right, just because we did it doesn't mean we need to condone it. I was trying to convey, that because we did it, we can help others overcome it. We are a different person, and we need to reflect the difference. If we don't change our ways, are we really a different person? I don't think so. It would all seem shallow and insignificant. We don't have an excuse to keep doing it. Romans 6:1,2a "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! we died to sin." King James is a little stronger with it's wording, it says in v 2 "God forbid!" I'm not trying to convey that because I did it then it's ok. It's not ok to do it, and I am here to help you out. I think you'd be willing to help someone out if they too fell into the trap of sin. Thanks and God bless you Daniel G Vandenburg
Yes, daniel. I would definitely be willing to help someone if they fell into the trap of sin. If anyone can learn from my past mistakes, I am more than happy to help them. Thanks for expounding a little more on the explanation you gave. I truly feel God will use you and your mistakes to glorify Him and help others. If you would take a little advice from an older brother, be careful. Satan has a way of letting you slip back into the old traps if he can to ruin your testimony. Stand strong in the Lord. I'm sure God has you a wonderful minister's wife waiting for you in His timing. I pray He has one for me as well. If you have any "rejects", maybe you could pass them onto me (just kidding). Be blessed, John
John, thanks for the warning. It's something I've been telling people too, but it is good to hear told to me also. I have some bad news for you though. Most of my relationships ended, when it was me being rejected. So I am actually the "reject", (which is no surprise to some of the people reading these) Those that I ended, how do you think I learned the advice not to date unbelievers. It's a lesson learned the hard way. Keep praying and keep your eyes focused on God. He will lead someone your way. God bless Daniel
It doesn't surprise me that you've been rejected so many times. You're a pompous jerk. You've managed to upset women, liberals, atheists, and even christians with your narrow mindedness. Just reading how the women here hate you is funny. You don't take other peoples feelings into consideration. All of your propaganda has been about you. How many other comments have you selectively not received? How many other women have sent comments that prove you wrong, but you haven't posted? Are there any women that would actually support you? Have you proven your point to the women that you have posted their comments? How many of the women from your past would stand up for you when you're in trouble, and how many still have a "friendship" with you? My guess on the last one is none. They wouldn't even give you a drink of water if it would save your life. You're nothing but a pathetic self absorbed mysogynistic jerk. I kept it clean so you might post it. I doubt it becuase I have proven my superiority to you and have shown all of your weaknesses Christopher Schmidt
Come on Christopher, that was uncalled for. I happen to know Daniel has friendships with quite a few women from his past. And although he was engaged to my daughter for almost 2 years, they did not break things off because of his views on biblical things (I am not going into details). And I know she still cares for him and would be there if he needed her for anything. If need be, I can have her post that. She stands behind him on following what the Bible stands for. So, don't make accusations that are unfounded. Daniel has made mistakes in his past, but he has changed & is trying to follow the Lord now. My daughter & us will always stand behind him even if he's not our son-in-law. G.G
My thoughts exactly, Christopher. I sent him several before he decided to post mine. Not exactly sure why he received one and not the others. I don't think we should get into his personal life, though, unless you're willing to share yours with the on-line community, too. By the way, not very many people stay friends with their "ex's", so you really can't judge things by that. Maybe he'll start printing more of the comments he received now. If this doesn't show up, it doesn't matter because you will never know I wrote it anyway. Have a good day. Sue
Sue, I assure you I have not received any comments from you with your name on it other than the ones that I have posted. You have followed all the guidelines that I ask of. I don't delete my e-mails nor my log so I went back through them and there is nothing with your name on them. I was looking to post them. You are very articulate and I do enjoy the comments you send. I have noticed that when comments are sent in, a keycode has to be inputed. If it is put in incorrectly, those messages don't get to me and are erased and I will never see it. I'm not saying that is what is going on, but it is something to look into. I was asked why I use comment moderation and not just allow people to post, my answer is this: 1. I don't want to turn this blog into a debate amongst everybody else, 2. There is a lot of comment spam that I want to avoid. 3. I don't like foul language and I don't feel others should be subjected to foul language. Read other blogs and you'll find out there are a lot of people that would rather insult people with their knowledge of "four letter words" than to help build people up. If you can remember what your comments are, and what they pertain too, please send them through again and I will post them where they belong. Anybody else, if you feel slighted and that I am only posting those comments that make me look good and not look bad, as you can see that's not the case. Please send them through and attach your name I will address more a little later God bless Daniel
Give the guy a break. His past relationships are not the issue here. Would you like to share all your past experiences with everyone? let's stick to the issues. His ex's do not need to be brought in the middle of whatever is going on here. Let's stick to the biblical issues and your disagreements with them. Sorry, I brought up this whole thing about your rejects. It was meant in fun & nothing against the gals you dated at all. I'm sure lots of them were nice christians, and I apologize to them. I know there are two sides to any broken relationships and this is not time or place to discuss them. John
This whole blog is getting pretty silly. It went from a testimony to everyone accusing Daniel of not having any female friends and for deliberately not posting their replies. Can't you all find something better to do with your time? It IS pretty entertaining though. Time for a new posting unless you're trying to break your record for the most replies. Jackson
I was surprised to come across your entry. It's very rare to find a future pastor who will own up to all their mistakes. Sometimes people expect a pastor to be perfect and forget they are human, too. However, reading your confession brings up a valid point many people have expressed to me. It seems like those who have "sowed their wild oats" in the past and have come to their senses and are ready to finally "settle down", are looking for nice little virgin gals who have not had any experience. What is with that? Why would anyone who has tried to live right settle for someone who has had multiple partners, and why would someone expect them to take them? If there were any good girls left, people like you have ruined them and then no one wants them either. It would be nice if people practiced what they preached. I'm not just speaking about you, but about others I've known who have done the same thing. Find someone who also has had a colorful past, and quit ruining the ones who have tried their best with God's help to remain pure for their husbands (which are very few and far between now days). For those who are trying to live for the Lord and stay pure, more power to you. I know it is only by God's power you will be able to keep that vow. Terri J.
Terri, I’m sorry if I have sent you or any other woman the impression that I am looking for the Snow White Pure Untouched Woman. I have spent the last couple days in retrospective thought, trying to figure out what woman (women) I have ruined for others. That accusation is baseless, and here’s why. Since high school, (I graduated in 1990) (I didn’t have my first encounter until college) out of all of the woman that I have dated, (I am including any woman whether I just took them out one time for dinner or a movie, to a long term relationship, longer than 6 months) only one was without a sexual encounter, and when it ended, she still was untouched in any sexual way. As for the rest, over half of them had at least one child. The relationships that I had that lasted longer than 2 years, (4 of them) two had a child, one had a “past” and one was pure. See the above statement on her. Since the time of my affirmation, I have remained chaste. Do I expect the next woman I am involved with to be pure and without touch? I understand the ways of the world and I lived in the ways of the world. So no I don’t. As for your question on people who have saved themselves why should they “settle” and expect someone to take them. I don’t think they should either. I think they should expect the same for their future spouse. I agree with you that it is through God's power that they are able to keep that vow. They should though look towards the Lords leaning. Forgiveness is something that we need to do even for the peoples past that we didn’t know anything about. The only thing I expect is that they have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Then, I’ll take it slow and one step at a time. Just because I have had many relationships doesn’t mean I diddled them all. My promiscuity is not as deep as people would like to believe it is. For everyone wondering what’s next and what’s taking so long on the next entry. I have been busy writing essays for an upcoming class. My goal is to have a new posting by this Sunday evening. I have two formulating and both will likely cause a small discussion. I will/have pray(ed) for everyone who posts here. If there is something specific you would like me to pray for, I won't post it, unless you want me to, but I will pray for your request. God bless you all Daniel
I want to apologize and ask your forgiveness. I did not mean for you to air all your dirty laundry on here. And, it was none of my business about your relationships. It wasn't specficly written degrading you. As you probably have figured out, I was that innocent virgin girl. At my age I couldn't find any older guys that were still virgins. Then I met a nice so-called christian guy who used me and threw me away. I now have a child and am raising them alone, so know what Diane was talking about. (I know, it was half my fault as well). If there are any innocent ladies reading this, don't give in just because you don't think they exist and you are lonely. They might not, but that is still no excuse. Also, if you find a good christian guy who has had a "past" don't pass them by because people can & do change.
However, I did want to comment that when you said "My promiscuity is not as deep as people would like to believe it is." It doesn't matter how promiscuous you were. If you were once, that is once too much. There is probably not a degree in this matter. Maybe if nothing else comes out of this, people will think twice before they let their feelings take control. sometimes we don't think about the long term consequences of our actions until it is too late. Again, I apologize for my past post. Terri
Terri, I forgive you and at the same time I need to ask you to forgive me. The way I answered, came off like I was jerkazoid. I'm sorry for the tone that it took. I pride myself in trying to keep an even emotional level. For some reason, I have been edgy and I have been jumping to conclusions. (there is no excuse for my behavior) If there is anyone else that I have offended because of my behavior lately, I'm sorry and please forgive me.
As for my comment on my promiscuity, yes once is too much, but I have received unprinted comments (no name, foul language) suggesting that I have had anywhere between 20 to over 100 women. The number (which is nobody's business) is smaller than most people think.
Let's try to keep the remaining comments on this article about the article, not about me. (I know the article is about me) I will try to have something up by Sunday evening. Then we can get right back to a heated discussion on that. You do bring up a good point and I think that's what I will go on. I am truly sorry that you had to go through what you went through. And to let you know, I received your comment twice. :)
God bless everyone
Daniel G Vandenburg
You're right, it's none of our business how many people you "diddled". I'm just wondering...Just because a person has a chld or a "past", did that give you the right to go ahead because you figured they were ruined anyway? Perhaps they were trying to change, too and you tempted them to do wrong....again. Just because some of us are considered "used merchandise" is no reason to think it's ok to keep using us. You almost sound like you're bragging about keeping the one "untouched", although I do commend you or that. What about the other 10 + or so, was it fair to them as well? I am curiuos if the opporunity arose with one of your past relationships, would you go ahead since you'd already been with them? Maybe you will stop and think next time. Five years of celibacy is good though, and for that I do commend you. Keep up the good work. Sue
Sue, I'm not sure what I did to get this hostility from you. I may have dated women with children and a past, that doesn't mean, I was specifically chasing them down so I can receive pleasure from them too. Your number is skewed also. As far as my past relationships coming back, I don't know, I can't answer that. With God's help I would overcome that temptation. Would I date them again? Possibly, it depends on the person, the situation, and if it's God's leading. I do want to stress to anybody reading this, just because a woman (or man) has a past, doesn't give any body else the right to take advantage of that person. Without sounding like a smart alec, just for future reference; celibacy n the state of being unmarried chaste adj free from sexual impurity chastity n the state of being chaste. God bless you Daniel
This has gotten way out of hand. I thought I'd share this poem I found. I hope it will help everyone understand a little better what it means to be a christian. No one's perfect, I can speak from experience. But thank God He thought we were worth saving. Anxiously awaiting your next topic so this one can die down. G.G.
**********
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are way too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.
-Author Carol Wimmer - Copyright 1988
Thanks, I've been looking for that poem. It does answer a lot of the questions that people are having.
God bless
Daniel
I noticed in this post that you said, "I have some bad news for you though. Most of my relationships ended, when it was me being rejected. So I am actually the "reject". Are you going to actually tell us that you had nothing to do with the breakups, you had no blame in them at all? I find that hard to believe, as there are always two sides to everything. A relationship is something that must be worked on by both people in order to survive. Please don't lead your viewers to believe the ladies were all at fault for your relationships not working. Brenda T.
I'm sorry if I am misleading. Most of my relationships ended with them approaching me and saying, in essence, "Daniel, I want out of this relationship." Some people think I'm an idiot, or a doofus schnitzel, but once those words (or similar words are uttered) I don't fight for them. If they want to be with me, they'll approach me with the attitude of working it out. If they don't, nothing I say will change their mind. Since this is a free country and the women are equal, I'm not going to force them to stay in the relationship and say something dumb like, "You are my woman and I demand you to stay." Nor will I appear to be a dependant person and say, "Oh please reconsider, let's work this out." If they don't want to be in the relationship, then I let them out when they want to end it. I will give them what they want, and the relationship will end.
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